AMEN to this — but there is the matter of forgiveness, of course! We can’t change the fact that something painful happened. We can’t change the fact that hurtful, evil people exist.
They may claim they “don’t have time” for you (but they apparently do for everyone else including your children)… they’d rather talk behind your back about you, instead of to your face… they go out of their way to do hurtful things.
WHY? Maybe their actions are driven by their own pain, feeling jealous, unworthy, wanting to seem powerful (when they’re not) — any number of things.
We can’t change the fact that these people feel as they do and act as they do. BUT we can control how we handle troubling issues and difficult people in our lives.
In the truest sense, all relationships matter. How we handle these painful situations impacts our lives in far greater ways than playing the victim card or giving in, allowing them to control life.
Forgiving these hurtful people — even if they won’t hear you (because they won’t listen or are no longer alive) — allows us to release that pain and be done with it all!
Forgiving begins with care, and ends with “I forgive you,” all covered in prayer.
Set yourself free of the unwanted (likely unwarranted) pain by forgiving. Sounds good, doesn’t it? You can do this! How do I know? Because I already did😊 Writing to encourage you!
When we measure our sense of worthiness based on the world around us, we are led to a deep, dark place of inadequacy. Some people never escape this trap. Learn the secret of your worthiness… Find out why you are worthy — a worthiness that can never be undone – OR – outdone!
Who doesn’t want more peace and meaningful, life-enriching relationships in their life? Most often we feel loved, valued and healthy when we have strong relationships. Building healthy relationships takes time.
At some point, everyone struggles with relationships. Sometimes relationships are not supportive or caring, no matter how we try our best to nurture them. Relationships naturally involve more than just ‘me’ – OR – ‘you! Relationships involve two or more… BUT being dynamic, things happen! Like…
Suddenly — your best friend disappears😯 Likely our friends didn’t abandon us because they didn’t really care… but maybe things are different now😭Whatever their reasons may be, they aren’t able to go further with us on this journey.
If we’re honest with ourselves, this is probably (in part) because they don’t have the deeply wired default connection inherently born into a family. As close as we thought we are (or at one time were), that strong bond no longer exists.
😳Did You Know: FAMILY teaches us how to extend grace! It may surprise you to realize — as it did me — that family actually gives us ample opportunity to learn to live at peace with and extend grace ongoing to others! There are benefits WHEN we allow these lessons!
Life can be challenging! But difficult, uncaring, unloving people often leave us wondering how to handle troubling situations and how to treat them when they make things so hard 🤷♀️
As a guide for all of us, in Ephesians 4:31-32, Paul tells us where to find encouragement and strength to help us through hard times with difficult people in our life..
Paul clearly explains how we should treat and address others:
“Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk.
Be gentle with one another, sensitive.
Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.”
So applying this as you go about your day…
Think about those who always seem so easy to forgive… and remember those who are more difficult for you to pour grace over.
Pray God’s guidance in your next steps to heal your most troubling relationships. He is always with us, even in our darkest days, and when we feel abandoned by those we thought loved us most.
Above all else, we mustn’t forget “Whose” we are. As believers, we are children of the Most High. The Creator of the Universe. He has never left our side. He loves each of us — every.one more than we can imagine!
By this very fact we are indeed WORTHY. We need not seek approval from others, live to please others, or put on a good show for love and attention. No. We are above that. We are beyond that.
We are worthy by virtue of God’s great love and generous grace available for us every moment of our lives. NO one can top that!
👋🏻Say GOODBYE to UNhealthy Relationships. Get TIPS to Transform Life One Relationship at a Time!
Embracing lies as misguided life truths costs us dearly. Allowing lies to live with us enables them to impact every moment of our lives negatively. Entrusted with unlimited access, they wield significant influence, including our innermost thoughts. The sad result is not being free to live as our heavenly Father intended.
Kicking life-wrecking lies to the curb isn’t easy. But — living with lies is more challenging because it gives them direct control over life. In their presence, life becomes less about who we are, and more about the lies taking up residence with us, as uninvited guests.
In Kick Life-Wrecking Lies to the Curb, author Becky Cortino explains:
How lies easily captivate hearts and minds everywhere
10 ways lies live with us for as long as we permit
7 principles for lie-free living
Sure-fire steps to break free of lies – banishing them forever
After 5 years of research, study, writing, and hearing beautiful forgiveness stories, Becky’s book “Restoring the Broken Places in an Unforgiving World” was published in 2020. She then realized the great need to help hurting hearts address issues that create a fertile environment for pain-filled relationships and unwanted brokenness requiring grace. “Kick Life-Wrecking Lies to the Curb” begins this journey.
Isn’t it time to stand up to the lies and start living the life you were meant to live?
Don’t settle for less. Kick the lies to the curb and accept God’s best for your life!
Kick Life-Wrecking Lies to the Curb! is available wherever books are sold, including:
Hard to believe — BUT — the holidays are just around the corner, aren’t they? ?
Are you ready for them? ? So many details… so many preparations and so much more… Unfortunately gatherings sometimes bring challenges and unforeseen difficulties. Tensions can run high ?Anxiety can grow so big that joy gets crowded out.
Unfortunately gatherings sometimes bring challenges and unforeseen difficulties. Holidays don’t always bring the best out in people.
It’s not easy to be prepared for relational issues that develop or become inflamed during these times ? It’s hard to stand ready for ANYthing that can happen — most of which you probably couldn’t predict or imagine.
When the dreaded mishap or a major eruption does happen, it often makes you feel like you had better walk on eggshells if you want to keep the peace — possibly in your own home??
Are you feeling a bit anxious? Who wouldn’t?! What to do?
I suggest my newest book which deals squarely and candidly with challenges just like this:
We all struggle to remain in control of our lives. Isn’t it time to stand up to the lies and live the life you were meant to live? Don’t settle for less. Kick the lies to the curb and accept God’s best for your life!
Embracing lies costs us dearly. Life becomes less about who we are, and more about the lies living with us. They stick around for as long as we allow.
After 7 years of research, deep-dive study, and writing about building healthy relationships, I realized the need for encouragement and insight into issues that create a fertile environment for pain-filled relationships.
Kick Life-Wrecking Lies to the Curb! Letting Go of the Lies Keeping You From Living with Heart and Soul is written from a biblical perspective, offering tried-and-true solutions to some of life’s most nagging relational issues.
Learn effective strategies and discover:
How lies easily captivate hearts and minds everywhere
10 ways lies take up residence
7 principles for lie-free living
Sure-fire steps to break free of lies – banishing them
Kick Life-Wrecking Lies to the Curb! Letting Go of the Lies Keeping You From Living with Heart and Soul is available in paperback and ebook formats on Amazon; also on Barnes & Nobel, Walmart and Lulu:
The New Year stretches out before us as a clear slate of fresh beginnings, great opportunities, hopes, dreams and wonders to be discovered…
What do you hope for in your life? The New Year is recognized as the time in our calendar year as a season for everything becoming new again. Fortunately for all of us, fresh starts and new beginnings aren’t scheduled only for January 1st!
New Beginnings are launched when we take steps in the right direction toward our heartfelt desire.
Relationships rank high on most people’s priority list, and yet this area remains as one of life’s most daunting challenges. Our days become complicated as we attempt to navigate through issues, desire to deftly address touchy issues and try to smooth over painful moments.
Have you added relationships to your list to focus onin the New Year? Many people place relationships at the top of their list. They begin their initiative armed with all good intentions and great resolve to deal with troubling relational messes.
Often, the thought of approaching a pain-filled area in life causes even the most resolute to freeze in place. Immobilized, the whole situation becomes increasingly more confusing as hurt, deep sorrow and bad memories blend into a chaotic mix. Progress in moving toward resolution comes to a screeching halt. Fear sets in. Where to begin? How to handle this? I just can’t do this!
Seeking to address relational breaks requires us to revisit times and places we’d prefer to keep on a shelf somewhere safely out of sight. In reviewing those breaks, the deep root of a problem inevitably stirs powerful emotions.
It’s difficult to cast aside the happy life we’ve comfortably surrounded ourselves with, to make time and create space for mending a break or to admit a wrong. But take heart! In our walk with Him, God often takes us through life’s dark, rough terrain before we arrive on the other side with Him, where we find true peace and the joy we seek.
How can you embrace New Beginnings in your life and effectively apply them to restoring broken relationships?
Recognize the situation for what it is in reality — not what you think, or how you feel about it. Admit it exists. See it for what it is.
Pray about the matter, all involved and touched by it. Ask God for a clear vision of the problem, and for His guidance in addressing it. He will change your heart in every aspect surrounding this issue! When we change our heart about a painful situation, our eyes see it more clearly.
Seek His guidance throughout. He is always with us. He stands beside us and will bring us through. We have to be willing participants wherever He leads us. We have to do our part — to do the hard things. He makes the way clear for us.
Let your reset heart redirect your mind, acting as a spiritual GPS, directing you where to go. Begin taking steps toward resolution, as the Lord leads you in that direction. His restoration will be far more complete and well beyond what you could ever imagine!
Forgiveness and restoring life’s broken places takes time.
When we want to restore a relationship or fix a problem in life, it helps to remember it is a process. It’s never a one-and-done or easy peasy cure for what ails us relationally. Sometimes it takes a lifetime. But forgiveness is possible.
Let the Holy Spirit lead you in this. Don’t take personal initiative to map out your relational restoration plan or detail this project on your calendar. This is a matter of the heart — carry it with you. Let the matter (and those involved) come to your mind frequently. Allow it to be laid on your heart and cover all with prayer.
Every small step you make toward restoration is a step forward.
Progress is made, moving toward that hope. Realize relationships involve more than “self,” so moving forward (or not) rests also in the hands of other(s). They may not wish to relinquish their control or admit wrong. Our heartfelt endeavors to restore broken places shaped by the Lord’s leading, will us free of our pain.
The heart of imperfect hospitality is offered in love, to encourage and give comfort. Hospitality doesn’t come easy, but it isn’t difficult…
What a blessing to spend time, share life and discuss adventures when we gather with others! Afterward, we wonder why don’t I spend more time enjoying company? It’s easy to get caught up in our daily routine and miss life-enriching moments. A nagging “To Do” List captivates our attention. Making preparations for having company isn’t always on the list.
Hospitality doesn’t come easy, but it isn’t difficult. Perceived urgency of things we need to do weighs heavily on us. We feel overwhelmed with everything on our plate. Adding a new thing displaces something else already planned. Because we make hospitality grander then it needs to be in our heads, we keep ourselves from enjoying more beautiful moments in our lives.
Opportunities to show gracious hospitalityarise when we cross paths with others. It may be as simple as warmly welcoming someone to an event or engaging in conversation. A kind introduction helps newcomers join an ongoing conversation.
Sometimes hospitality opportunities are dropped in our laps. Our latest experience was having family live with us for almost 1-1/2 years. This indeed was a time for imperfect hospitality in action because it was impromptu hosting from beginning to end!
If you had family (or others) living with you during the pandemic and worked full-time, you remember the drill. Each day brought changing protocols, new mandates, dwindling food supplies and staples impacting households everywhere. (Who knew toilet paper was so valuable?) Maybe like us, you felt the increased weight of responsibility for providing for those under your roof as shortages continued. We all pressed on through those uncertain days.
We had “company” when our youngest son and his new wife lived with us during the pandemic. For 16 months running, all efforts were made to help them settle in comfortably. With our family’s work and school schedule, my main focus was gathering nightly for a family meal. This gave us the opportunity to spend some personal time away from pressing matters.
We had 3 reasons for planning our daily family evening meal:
It is our family’s tradition.
Gathering gave us a space of time together.
This would likely be one of the last times we could spend time together in such an intimate, meaningful way.
Meshing schedules proved challenging. For the first 9 months of sheltering in, I was the last one awake (in the wee hours) finishing things needing to be done; and the first one up in the early morning, setting up for the day.
For 4 months I worked full-time, as I prepared for a speaking conference. After putting in 8-9 hours straight through the day, I spent about 2 hours making dinner, followed by another 2 hours of cleanup (most nights). It was a full, exhausting day, but I was dedicated to having this important time together. It was worth it.
My conference was postponed when gathering mandates were enacted. I worked intensively during the next 6 months preparing for it. In the end, respecting my family’s concerns for bringing COVID home, I didn’t attend the rescheduled conference. I did accomplish a lot during those 10 months!
My husband and I remained committed to providing a roof over our children’s heads, keeping them safe, providing food for them. This is the kind of loving hospitality a parent willingly provides. Our school and work schedules changed somewhat during the summer, but we continued to gather.
Getting adequate rest was challenging for everyone! Focusing on our evening meal mission helped, especially in the face of adversity as satan attempted to disrupt our family’s lives. I realize now I was also battling burn-out, after launching my book RESTORING THE BROKEN PLACES IN AN UNFORGIVING WORLD.
We continued serving food, providing hospitality, love, wisdom, support and encouragement in the face of the unknown. I believe this is the heart of imperfect hospitality — offered in love, to encourage and give comfort.It isoffered from the heart with the hope of comforting. In this situation it was my husband and I assuring our children of the beautiful future God has planned for them.
I’m grateful for every moment our family had during this challenging time. It was a blessing to serve them in this way. Living a faith-based life assures us our heavenly Father is greater than our circumstances. He is the solution to all pressing problems. In His undeniable love, He never leaves us to deal with challenges on our own. He brought our family through those dark days.
The beautiful future God planned for all of our children is dawning. We know our prayers are being answered in amazing ways for them!
OPEN YOUR HEART WITH THIS TOOLBOX FOR GRACIOUS GATHERINGS WITH IMPERFECT HOSPITALITY:
Preparing favorite meals and special foods for restricted diets and preferences is thoughtful and welcoming.
Give guests a taste of your family’s life by serving family favorites to new family members or visitors from other countries, along with a generous helping of backstory of why the dish is so popular or special memories associated with it.
Pray ahead for the gathering, asking each to be blessed.
Try to get rest beforehand.
Keep arrangements simple, so they are not all-consuming.
Focus on creating a warm, welcoming environment.
No matter how simple, offer it all in love.
Cover all (including your efforts) with grace — things don’t always turn out as planned!
Memories will be made through your efforts of graciously offered (yet) imperfect hospitality.
A multi-platform professional writer throughout her career creating marketing/sales and promotional content for clients commercially, in addition to promoting causes and information campaigns. Her tradition of multiple-platform communication continues today.
Becky has written for, her words have been published and broadcast over every form of media. Her first 7 books are based on ministries she and her family participated in for over 20 years.
Resulting from her writing and book publishing efforts, public speaking and presentation opportunities domestically and internationally developed. Audiences range from small events, to business community member audiences (up to 500 in attendance).
A longtime presenter featuring a series of edutraining programs, Becky also presented special track training workshops at an international conference. She recently offered a special program to a delighted audience in southeastern Europe.
Becky is a featured collaborator in 2 published books on the subjects of Injecting Healing Humor in Healthcare, and Herbs, to benefit causes and nonprofits (on the national/global platform).
She wrote a piece on work that looks like play and hearts touched by the hospital humor ministry she and her family served in for nearly 14 years. It was featured in What’s Right in Healthcare, a special edition created to inspire those in the front lines of healthcare. This book was published in 2007.
Herb Society of America’s Essential Guide to Growing and Cooking with Herbs, benefitting The National Herb Garden (now in 3rd reprint and available in Kindle eBook Edition), was published in 2007. Becky’s contribution was an offshoot of her Herbal Treasures Of Hickory Hollow women’s ministry, and her homeschooling family’s garden adventure.
Becky collaborated on a third book for women in business: Behind Her Brand, Entrepreneur Edition, Volume 5 in 2016. Her contribution was based on her marketing and public relations consultancy business and digital marketing experience.
Since 1999, Becky has published several books, countless eBooks and many websites, creating content ongoing – ‘blogging’ before there were blogs!(Blogging officially beginning in 2004, when suitable platforms were available.)
She has presented numerous training programs, coached and helped area churches, by personally encouraging the Christian community to establish Christian Creative Arts Ministry as a regular activity and special event, enhancing outreach and mission trip efforts, to impact lives.
To support this important outreach work, Becky authored 2 in-depth books on the topic of establishing Christian Creative Arts Ministry. In addition to her books to further prepare and equip these ministries, she created digital media resources. Becky created and developed 15 online multi-media training courses. She began offering online training and resources in 2002.
A media maker with professional experience in all forms of media including New, Social and Traditional. Becky began podcasting in 2008, hosting several internet BlogTalk Radio Shows collaboratively and on her own. Since 2008, she created a branded series of videos for her books on her YouTube channels featuring related original niche content.
In February 2020, speaker and author Becky Cortino established LivRad, a speaking and writing ministrychargedwith the mission of “Encouraging Words for Hurting People.”
PLEASE NOTE: In light of the rapidly-changing COVID-19 situation and varying mandates, Becky Cortino Speaking Engagement Information, including Presentation Topics, and Booking Details are not available.
